Re: #NeverAgain

I didn’t realize it was Kyle that had died that summer, saving his little sister from drowning – 15 years ago, this June. Walking into the lunchroom, not seeing him with a deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards in front of him, I asked, “Where’s Kyle?”

Immediately, faces crinkled, tears began to flow, and the sober words, “It was him,” caused the nausea to hit me. The Courier Article had been put up in the JROTC case, but, like most of the students on those wooden hallways, I walked right by, blissfully unaware. Instantly, I knew why I had missed the memo – I didn’t see his picture, that day, I had only heard the monotone reporting from the other room, oblivious to the lives of my friends being ripped apart before the days of Facebook.

C.K. was his best friend; they were in the middle of their Eagle Scout project – he shows up the next day, ready to work and… that’s not my story to tell. The necrophilia-based fiction, humor and drama, prose and poetic, mundane and musical, just sort of… happened. There was no real way to process it, so we… not ‘trivialized’ it. Distanced ourselves. Observed clinically. Copy of a copy of a copy. His ex was one of my best friends – between her and C.K., I can tell you, heroic or not, losing someone your age when you’re a kid is fucked up.

Personally, I wasn’t even that close to Kyle, I was just one of the group at the lunch table. Sure, I was in JROTC, too, which we found out pretty quick on Friday, when the whole Corps was required to wear their Class ‘B’s, but that wasn’t how we knew each other. We were the weirdo eclectic kids – anime geeks, theatre/ choir/ band nerds; that was our bond.

Still, that’s the age where, barring a serious personality disorder, you buy it all hook, line, and sinker. He wanted to go into the Air Force to become a hero. Literally, saved his little sister’s life and became a hero before he could be expected to pay rent – can you imagine how he’d feel if he ended up piloting drones, instead? That wasn’t Kyle – Kyle was the Billy Joel song you’re thinking of right now.

Now, I’m seeing kids on TV grieving after seeing classmates die with their own two eyes – not even a hint of a willing sacrifice, no blissful buffer, just senseless slaughter with no warning. Those kids are going to develop a very, very dark sense of humor. Let them. Humor is much more healing than repressing feelings. They are going to feel very, very intense emotions – don’t drug the shit out of them, just because they have to be to school at 6 am because they’re in Band.

It just now occurred to me, the one Conspiracy Theory kid might not have been a bad actor doing multiple takes, he might just be out of his gourd on Gods-Know-What to do this freaking media tour. Or else it’s Operation Northwoods all over again. I digress.

It’s time to stop forcing kids to be perfect, to fear failure, to pretend they’re happy when they’re obviously not – they’re feeling that same feeling: something is not right, here. Only, instead of listening, we ignore them until the only way they can be heard is by shooting up a Church or a School.

It’s been two years since Columbine, and today, many people – especially some parents of the murdered children – still believe the worst school massacre in American history might have been averted if the Sheriff’s Department and school authorities had done their jobs.

60 Minutes has been investigating the shootings at Columbine for the past six months, and has found new and surprising information about what happened there. Some of that information was in the Sheriff’s files – undisclosed – until CBS News went to court to have it released. And some of it comes from two former security officials at the school district who say that eight months before the shootings, they developed a plan that they say might have prevent the killings, a plan that they say the school all but ignored.

This is happening AGAIN:

Suspected school shooter Nikolas Cruz became known to authorities in the fall of 2017 when he posted a comment on YouTube that was reported to the FBI: “I’m gonna be a professional school shooter.”

At a news conference Thursday morning, special FBI agent-in-charge of Miami-Dade Rob Lasky said that the agency had received the report of the comment from a video blogger in Mississippi in September. The comment was made under the name “Nikolas Cruz,” and yet the bureau said it was unable to establish a firm identity.

Now, I don’t mean to sound callous, but the FBI/ Police ignoring reports of weapons brandishing on top of weapons stockpiling doesn’t sound like they were very concerned with stopping an inevitable slaughter.

…and THAT is why I don’t believe they’ll change ANYTHING with the coming proposed legislation. 17 YEARS of Hindsight is Disgusting. They HAD the tools to identify this man as a threat, and they NEGLECTED to act. Why? WHY?!! What’s the point of all that blood you just WATCHED spill, when you know good and Goddamned well how to stop it?

What NEW law would have made the FBI spring into action? Making it a felony to sit back without preventing a bloodbath when that is literally your JOB.

Conduct professional investigations and authorized intelligence collection to identify and counter the threat posed by domestic and international terrorists and their supporters within the United States, and to pursue extraterritorial criminal investigations to bring the perpetrators of terrorist acts to justice. In furtherance of this function, the FBI designs, develops, and implements counterterrorism initiatives which enhance the FBI’s ability to minimize the terrorist threat.
FBI Website

Well, it was identified, and then what? Then, their faces crinkled, and that damned wailing began… and the ones who LET it happen are saying WE need more restrictions? WE are bad people for not handing over our guns? WE need to let THEM take MORE of our privacy?!


If it wasn’t outright malice, it was grave incompetency which requires external investigation. I want answers. I want this to ACTUALLY stop, not just be a cool Facebook filter with the intention to neglect duties further down the line after the lip service ceremonies. #NeverAgain



An Open Letter to Angry, Sex-Fearing Feminists

*gently pats the seat beside her*

Come on in, get comfy – we’re gonna have a little chat.

No, that was not sarcasm. Come back. This is a good thing.

Recently, I read an article entitled ‘Whether you like it or not, pole dancing perpetuates sexism’ on Feminist Current. FakeFeminist, in order to fallistically silence through mockery any sort of rebuttal which didn’t recoil in horror at the mere mention of the possibility of causing arousal to another person, apparently made a bingo card of all the most common responses – pairing actual conversation starters with shallow insults, thereby ruining any sort of credibility by-association.


When “but it helped me heal” is a point of laughter/ disgrace, it’s time for a talking-to.

  1. Yes, skimpy clothing is required – sticking to the pole with your FUCKING FLESH is required in competitions (last I checked – I could be ill-informed). Being drunk helps – not only does it dull the pain of putting your entire body weight on the back of your knees/ inside of your thighs/ arm, the alcohol comes out in your sweat, making you even stickier, but that’s work, not Russia (I assume, but I’m Eurocentric, and all I know is drinking makes me warm; I digress). Dancers who wear stockings as a part of their aesthetic know the difference between Fishnet and Fencenet, because it might keep you from cracking your head open, one day.

Want to see Professional Gymnastics in Not-America? Watch this video, and tell me again how illegitimate of a sport pole dancing is still (by the way, there is a male category).

2. I’m already done with this; I’m not here to dissect… much.

I’m here to give an alternate perspective, maybe find some middle-ground.  look at the bottom of the column, again. Eye for an eye.

You know what causes Rape? LACK OF CONSENT.


When you try to take control of someone else’s arousal without their permission, what would you call that?

If someone uses their arousal as an excuse to violate you without your permission (because, let’s be honest, if people didn’t like being violated in a large enough group, ‘Safewords’ would not be a thing involved in what grown adults do to pass the time and invest thousands of dollars and hours into each year; I digress), what would you call that?

Yes, Feminists, Institutional Sexism, like Institutional Racism, is real:


Brock Turner and his Presiding Judge, the Red-Eye Nipple Pincher, Sexual Abuse in the Military – we have to quit treating sexual assault like an “oops”, specifically when it comes to white males. (By the way, white is a culture which currently holds institutional power, beige is one of a myriad of skin colors.) If someone steals a wallet or leaves a bruise, there is ‘proof’; when the assailant admits wrongdoing and begs to avoid punishment (which successfully happens), the person who was violated is put in a very awkward situation – “sorry, your tits and peace of mind are less valuable than the contents of a Leather Pouch”.

According to a poll by the Veteran’s Health Administration, at least One in Five Females in the Military admitted being victims of sexual abuse during their time of service. Now, the key word in that statement is ‘admitted’. In 2013, it was estimated that 60 – 65% of all sexual assaults go unreported. This means, adjusting for a trend of under-reporting of cases, that number is closer to One in Three.


Now, did I say anything, men who came here to hate just because the words ‘Angry’ and ‘Feminists’ were in the title of an article which doesn’t eviscerate the Movement, about sexual assaults only ever happening to women? Nope. This is a very interesting infographic from the Seattle Post, all the way back in 2004.

Look at the bottom left-hand bar of the above bar graph. In the Military, a group predominantly known for being anti-LGBT for years and years, using slurs specifically for this group in order to degrade as a part of mental training, women are STILL 4 TIMES as scared of their reputation being ruined than men, even though men are ten percent more likely to suffer feelings of shame, embarrassment, and self-blame.

In other words, even though more men feel guilty than women when they are assaulted, they still know they face little consequences to their day-to-day and career life because of it.

Many might not even consider such a possibility, certain anthropologists believing women are more likely to be sensitive to group dynamics as part of a survival mechanism ingrained in their biological makeup (which is why men are less likely to understand why you’re mad that bitch was nice to you – it’s called a ‘Backhanded Compliment’, look it up!!).

It would, though, wouldn’t it? Make you seem weak, like an easy target – “Successfully Raped.” It’s something I’ve been dealing with, in the wake of several molestations and a few penetrations, one of which may have been drugged, since I’ve never had a blackout or a hangover that badly in my life, that I can recall, and I’ve drunk a half a handle of UV Blue to myself once…

Ended puking on the toilet while singing ‘Dresden Dolls’, after which I stripped down of my own accord and got in the bathtub, so I’d feel better – yes, this is something I do when I’m drunk and feel safe.

Was alone with two men, was treated respectfully (was checked on to make sure I didn’t drown without incident, if you can believe it) and put to bed to sleep it off. They made it a point to be polite and as non-sexual as possible, even though I was not related to them.

I was lucky to be around who I was around, that night, and not someone else.

That’s the point of this article, I guess: Personal Responsibility.

Brock Turner does NOT represent the men who are maligned with false rape accusations from spiteful women who don’t understand the pain and suffering of an actual sexual assault victim, he represents only himself and his personal actions.

Brock Turner being sentenced lightly will not help the number of fathers whose children are in abusive environments, due to the state siding with their mothers arbitrarily, get them out of that situation any faster, protect four-year-olds from being pulled up by the neck with a belt and their 9-year-old sister from revealing on the origin of the bruises casually at dinner.

It is one thing to take into context the demographics of the victim/ perp and be aware of injustices upheld by those who hold positions of authority in conflict of interest (Blind Trust, anyone?), it is a completely different thing to successfully find out what it is about that person we can ban to make the threat of such a crime non-existent. I vote ‘ignorance’.

Oh, and, to quote Joss Whedon, “Looking at linoleum makes me want to have sex.” Please stop taking erections personally, they aren’t actually trouser snakes. If you can’t, then please consider learning self-defense, a la Bobby Hill, and make sure you use it appropriately, unlike Bobby Hill.

Until next time, Keep your Mind and Eyes Open!!

An Open Letter to Iowa Representatives RE: The Impeachment of Hillary Clinton

To All This Matter Concerns:

Perhaps I am ignorant – according to Wikipedia: “Impeachment in the United States is an expressed power of the legislature that allows formal charges to be brought against a civil officer of government for crimes alleged to have been committed while in office… At the federal level, Article II of the United States Constitution states in Section 4 that ‘The President, Vice President, and all civil Officers of the United States shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other High Crimes and Misdemeanors’.” (AN: punctuation edited slightly, for the sake of clarity.)

Now, I am very distressed about what I’ve seen regarding Secretary Clinton’s acts of Perjury during the Benghazi Hearings, and I’m wondering, as such a misdemeanor is clearly a constitutional violation, why Impeachment Proceedings have not begun immediately. Congress has the power to do so – why are they condoning this selfish act by refusing? It is SUPREMELY selfish to blatantly lie just because, Personal Opinion, you’re more worried about your upcoming Presidential Campaign than Justice.

Some would call wanting an Impeachable President selfish, as well.

No, I don’t want Trump in Office – Yes, we have another Democratic Nominee. Despite having donated to Bernie Sanders’ campaign, he is not the candidate who aligns with this constituent’s true will which is to be represented through the act of voting. I will BE deciding until November, as it is the Civic Duty of every American to educate themselves as much as possible about this election prior to voting. As it is an American Right to speak freely in political matters, I submit this open correspondence for your reading, and eagerly look forward to your written or verbal response.

A Native Iowan

What If CSPAN was, like, Reality Goverment Shows?

…yeah! And really, really, REALLY charismatic leaders, like Obama and Putin and Trudeau… they’re the stars!! They’re also in-shape, unlike Ted Kennedy, who only WISHES he had JFK’s (or, heck, even half of Bobby’s) chiseled features.

Where was I? Oh yeah!

We follow candidates around ‘behind the scenes’, with a live feed of the House/ Senate in a PIP on CSPAN 1 and 2 (following, of course, the two main candidates of each of the Two Parties, whom not voting for is ‘throwing your vote away’), which is easily expandable by switching over to CSPAN 3 or 4, which is also available on mobile phone.


“Why Does White Pride = Racist?” A White Woman Answers

Simply put, being “white” changes – the Irish didn’t used to be “white”; being “white” is being privileged. It is withheld or given to people for seemingly arbitrary reasons.

Being “White” isn’t about skin color – you know how pasty Irish people are stereotyped to get – it’s about ‘passing’. It’s about participating in a system which gives privileges which the privileged see as rights, and making it easier than it should be to disenfranchise others.

I’ve been one of two white people (out of 1,500 – 3,000 students) in an institutional scholarship orientation program for a week straight; not as tourist, in my home county. Some white people in America never experience anything like it; walking into the “wrong bar” once or twice and walking right back out again doesn’t count.

When you realize what it’s like to walk out of your door and KNOW you might see ONE other white person when you step into the Professional World, when you realize this is a recent reality for minorities trying for Upward Mobility (thankfully, less now, from my limited white perspective, but still quite real in smaller towns), this is the part where you white people go, “Oh. Shit. I didn’t realize. Yeah, that IS fucked up.”

Why is it fucked up? White people are freaking out about the playing field being leveled – they don’t understand white people aren’t being oppressed, they are experiencing equality for the first time. They think their free speech is being attacked because the free speech of others isn’t being suppressed by Fear of Death or Dismemberment… I mean, there are terrorist attacks on multiple black churches because killing devout Christians and leveling Christian Houses of Worship is the Christian thing to do!

Blow Me.

If you’re proud to not be discriminated against and bitch when white feelings aren’t the only ones being catered to (while accusing everyone else of whining – don’t get me started on white people’s “Angry Black Person” problems), get out of America and go somewhere a little more homogenous. Please – we’re multi-cultural here. We celebrate ALL of America, here, not just the ones who have the biggest guns and the most vindication from their imaginary sky friend (who appears differently to different people at different times and says lots of things we choose not to think about because yoga pants on hot girls is a God-given right).

When someone says “That’s offensive,” instead of asking, “Why do you hate free speech? Why don’t you move to Canada?” ask, “What makes it offensive? What’s wrong with it?” You might both be on the same side, and just don’t know it yet. Reinforcing stereotypes (yes, I call out the bullshit on the Redneck Racist bashing memes, too – I’m equal-opportunity enlightenment) makes us less free, as a nation; taking away someone’s dignity is wrong, period, and those who are trying to make the world a better placed have been tasked with pointing out your part in oppressing your fellow Americans.

You were brainwashed as a child; I know it’s nothing personal to you that you’re racist. Or, maybe it is – maybe one of your few experiences with a not-white person was violent or violating; maybe that person was racist and targeting you based on bigotry; if that person/s was/were white, would you feel that way about all white people?

“That’s a stupid question,” you say? “It’s not the same.”

That’s the whole point of this article.


Update – an ingenious comment made in response to the comment I had on the initial meme this sparked a blog about:

“Irish pride = ok, French pride, Viking pride, Slavic pride. All are ok. White pride is about white supremacy, not about being an equal in society.”

An Allegory for Mental Health and/ or Society

Let’s say you get a cut and, just to be nice, I grab you a bandaid and some first aid spray. I wait for you to offer up your injury, and nothing happens.

“Let’s get this bandaid on there.”

“What’s the point? It’s just going to keep bleeding under there, anyway.”

“The point is to stop the bleeding eventually.”

“It’s all a cover-up, though. It’s still going to bleed – things aren’t all not- bleedy under there!”

“Yes, well, if you want the damn thing to heal without getting an infection and complicating things, you’ll wear it.”

“You’re not really healing anything. I mean, if I get another cut, I’ll bleed, so it’s not really helping, in the long run.”


“I mean, I was born covered in blood – why bother, you know?”

“Alright, it’s your choice. I just tried to help…”

“See, there you go, blaming the bleeder, like I could help the fact that I got a cut. You’re so unsympathetic to the victims of bloodloss. You’ve probably lost blood at some point in your life, or know someone who has…”

“Yeah, and I fixed it.”

“After you ‘fixed it’, did you bleed again?”



“From a completely different wound, ’cause that one healed, or else I knicked it after it scabbed up, but it wasn’t healed all the way, yet.”

“This one’s never gonna heal.” Lifts up shirt.

“Holy Fuck! That scab’s huge!”

“How’s this for a bandaid?”

“You need to go to the fucking hospital.”

“I need to go to work in the morning.”

When it’s all said and done, it’s your own choice.

My Problem with Christians Getting Pissed About This Article

Yes, Dear Reader, this article.

For those who weren’t there, I’ll catch you up to how this came about:

I first said, after reading the part where all the parents were told to send their children with the appropriate head wear, which meant they could have made them stay home from school, honestly, “…and their parents thought it was alright, seeing as how they all had to bring their own scarves from home. I really don’t see the problem with immersing yourself in another culture, in order to better understand it.”

The response: “Muslims sueing the nation for having to say teh pledge of allegience but an entire class of non muslims being forced to wear head coverings observing another religions tennants they have no part of? And you find no hypocrisy in that? The parents that did mind kids didn’t get to go… it was not optional.. It is called conditioning look it up[.] Maybe Muslims should immerse themselve in Nations cultures they immigrate to rather then attempting to institute their bullshit Sharia law in every nation they immigrate to…

So, Freedom of Religion has no place in America, then? If you want to be American, you’d better be part of the Christian Nation? Now, I assume that’s what you’re insinuating, and I may be wrong, but that very attitude is what my response aims to respond to.

A) I was forced to say The Pledge of Allegiance until I refused in high school – I’m Pagan. My family is not, it was a choice I made, and it helped me see a lot of things those who identify as Christians take for granted. I was forced to participate in Christian Propaganda in saying the Pledge throughout high school, in addition to both private and public elementary, due to my being part of the JROTC. As economically disadvantaged as my family was, it seemed like the best way to get ahead in my (so I thought) inevitable joining of the US Air Force, wherein I would become an Aviation Mechanic. This was before I got my full ride to the University.

Once, when I was unable to do enough pull ups, my teacher said, “Where is your Goddess now?” To which I replied, still hanging from the bar of my own volition, “She has better things to do, Sir.”

B) “Under God” was added to the Pledge of Allegiance in the 1954 as part of McCarthy-era propaganda. Pledging allegiance to anything over and over and over again, at the beginning of every school day, in my opinion, is conditioning. One school trip is not, in comparison. Based on what I learned in Behavior Modification, you would, in order to condition someone appropriately, use a very specific method using a reward schedule based on a predetermined number of intervals. A single incident does not an interval make.

C) You’d be amazed at the curiosity of a child, when it comes to trying something new, like wearing a different outfit or praying TO THE SAME GOD a different way than they’re used to. Allah is still the God of Abraham, the Father of Christ, whatever you wanna call that particular Monotheistic Being.

That’s what gets my dander up about this article, as concisely as I can say.

And do you ever learn about non-monotheistic religions in school?! Not once was I told who Aradia was, nor Thor… the best we got was some Greek Gods in 9th Grade English, so we could understand Shakespeare better. Native European Traditions aren’t taught – it’s Italy and who they fought; that’s world history – let alone anyone else’s whose founders didn’t have the word ‘Great’ in their name…

Two words: Germanic Tribes.

Now me? I respect tribes – the Romani in particular. However, I digress.

The point is, Spain was exceptionally tolerant and cultured until the Catholics came along…

…I mean, you’re telling me, if you found a naked wolf woman out hunting one day, you wouldn’t make her put on a dress to go to church with you? A pantsuit? An overcoat?

In essence, this is a really poor way of explaing how this is culturally relevant, and I’ve, in my ignorance, probably pissed off the side I was trying to make a case for… then again, it was supposed to be my side kinda, but I digress again. Then again, I make it a point to study other cultures for my own personal enjoyment.

I’m sorry, I’m sure you’re making a good point, too, I just can’t hear you over the sound of America trying to make me accept hierarchies as Divine Law by instilling feelings of inadequacy from a young age.