An Open Letter to Angry, Sex-Fearing Feminists

*gently pats the seat beside her*

Come on in, get comfy – we’re gonna have a little chat.

No, that was not sarcasm. Come back. This is a good thing.

Recently, I read an article entitled ‘Whether you like it or not, pole dancing perpetuates sexism’ on Feminist Current. FakeFeminist, in order to fallistically silence through mockery any sort of rebuttal which didn’t recoil in horror at the mere mention of the possibility of causing arousal to another person, apparently made a bingo card of all the most common responses – pairing actual conversation starters with shallow insults, thereby ruining any sort of credibility by-association.

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When “but it helped me heal” is a point of laughter/ disgrace, it’s time for a talking-to.

  1. Yes, skimpy clothing is required – sticking to the pole with your FUCKING FLESH is required in competitions (last I checked – I could be ill-informed). Being drunk helps – not only does it dull the pain of putting your entire body weight on the back of your knees/ inside of your thighs/ arm, the alcohol comes out in your sweat, making you even stickier, but that’s work, not Russia (I assume, but I’m Eurocentric, and all I know is drinking makes me warm; I digress). Dancers who wear stockings as a part of their aesthetic know the difference between Fishnet and Fencenet, because it might keep you from cracking your head open, one day.

Want to see Professional Gymnastics in Not-America? Watch this video, and tell me again how illegitimate of a sport pole dancing is still (by the way, there is a male category).

2. I’m already done with this; I’m not here to dissect… much.

I’m here to give an alternate perspective, maybe find some middle-ground.  look at the bottom of the column, again. Eye for an eye.

You know what causes Rape? LACK OF CONSENT.

Period.

When you try to take control of someone else’s arousal without their permission, what would you call that?

If someone uses their arousal as an excuse to violate you without your permission (because, let’s be honest, if people didn’t like being violated in a large enough group, ‘Safewords’ would not be a thing involved in what grown adults do to pass the time and invest thousands of dollars and hours into each year; I digress), what would you call that?

Yes, Feminists, Institutional Sexism, like Institutional Racism, is real:

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Brock Turner and his Presiding Judge, the Red-Eye Nipple Pincher, Sexual Abuse in the Military – we have to quit treating sexual assault like an “oops”, specifically when it comes to white males. (By the way, white is a culture which currently holds institutional power, beige is one of a myriad of skin colors.) If someone steals a wallet or leaves a bruise, there is ‘proof’; when the assailant admits wrongdoing and begs to avoid punishment (which successfully happens), the person who was violated is put in a very awkward situation – “sorry, your tits and peace of mind are less valuable than the contents of a Leather Pouch”.

According to a poll by the Veteran’s Health Administration, at least One in Five Females in the Military admitted being victims of sexual abuse during their time of service. Now, the key word in that statement is ‘admitted’. In 2013, it was estimated that 60 – 65% of all sexual assaults go unreported. This means, adjusting for a trend of under-reporting of cases, that number is closer to One in Three.

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Now, did I say anything, men who came here to hate just because the words ‘Angry’ and ‘Feminists’ were in the title of an article which doesn’t eviscerate the Movement, about sexual assaults only ever happening to women? Nope. This is a very interesting infographic from the Seattle Post, all the way back in 2004.

Look at the bottom left-hand bar of the above bar graph. In the Military, a group predominantly known for being anti-LGBT for years and years, using slurs specifically for this group in order to degrade as a part of mental training, women are STILL 4 TIMES as scared of their reputation being ruined than men, even though men are ten percent more likely to suffer feelings of shame, embarrassment, and self-blame.

In other words, even though more men feel guilty than women when they are assaulted, they still know they face little consequences to their day-to-day and career life because of it.

Many might not even consider such a possibility, certain anthropologists believing women are more likely to be sensitive to group dynamics as part of a survival mechanism ingrained in their biological makeup (which is why men are less likely to understand why you’re mad that bitch was nice to you – it’s called a ‘Backhanded Compliment’, look it up!!).

It would, though, wouldn’t it? Make you seem weak, like an easy target – “Successfully Raped.” It’s something I’ve been dealing with, in the wake of several molestations and a few penetrations, one of which may have been drugged, since I’ve never had a blackout or a hangover that badly in my life, that I can recall, and I’ve drunk a half a handle of UV Blue to myself once…

Ended puking on the toilet while singing ‘Dresden Dolls’, after which I stripped down of my own accord and got in the bathtub, so I’d feel better – yes, this is something I do when I’m drunk and feel safe.

Was alone with two men, was treated respectfully (was checked on to make sure I didn’t drown without incident, if you can believe it) and put to bed to sleep it off. They made it a point to be polite and as non-sexual as possible, even though I was not related to them.

I was lucky to be around who I was around, that night, and not someone else.

That’s the point of this article, I guess: Personal Responsibility.

Brock Turner does NOT represent the men who are maligned with false rape accusations from spiteful women who don’t understand the pain and suffering of an actual sexual assault victim, he represents only himself and his personal actions.

Brock Turner being sentenced lightly will not help the number of fathers whose children are in abusive environments, due to the state siding with their mothers arbitrarily, get them out of that situation any faster, protect four-year-olds from being pulled up by the neck with a belt and their 9-year-old sister from revealing on the origin of the bruises casually at dinner.

It is one thing to take into context the demographics of the victim/ perp and be aware of injustices upheld by those who hold positions of authority in conflict of interest (Blind Trust, anyone?), it is a completely different thing to successfully find out what it is about that person we can ban to make the threat of such a crime non-existent. I vote ‘ignorance’.

Oh, and, to quote Joss Whedon, “Looking at linoleum makes me want to have sex.” Please stop taking erections personally, they aren’t actually trouser snakes. If you can’t, then please consider learning self-defense, a la Bobby Hill, and make sure you use it appropriately, unlike Bobby Hill.

Until next time, Keep your Mind and Eyes Open!!

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