Catching up on SNL

First of all, Leo di shouldn’t, like, look as old as the old Brawny man.

About to make it two for two. How about a poem?

Roses are read
I got up last hour
Haven’t eaten
And need a shower

There, that wasn’t so hard. Formulaic, like everything else in my life. A + B = C
Constant, unchanging Universe, the chaos only an illusion.

As you can see, I have paradoxical, hypocritical beliefs about both science and spirituality. You can say I believe in what sounds best at the time. I blame (of course, not myself) ‘The Secret’. 

Yeah, and these irrational beliefs selectively supported by pseudoscience and my own biased purposeful seeking-out.

…that IS why your adult son was yelling in the basement. Hmmm…

I’m making it a point to watch ‘Weekend Update’. Nationally badmouthing Russia. Sorry, I’m taking a Nationalism class for my capstone. I’m doing homework. Yeah. That’s it – homework. 

I used to watch the Daily Show – not so much anymore. I’ve been watching since I was 16, for cripe’s-sake. SNL is my only grasp on mainstream information. I want to know what kind of messages we’re sending to people about America’s values and priorities. …

Then again, maybe I’m reading too much into it. I do that alot. Like this one time when we were talking about the currency situation, and the fact that the background of the SNL skit was two Chinese flags surrounding the American flag, instead of alternating two of each in the original press conference. This, of course, being a reference to how mapmakers in the US during the cold war made Russia appear to be a bigger threat by stretching them out to take space up on both edges of the map.

Yeah. I’m freaking insane. Choosing to adopt any beliefs contained herein is at your own risk. As a middle schooler, I was diagnosed with an unknown psychotic disorder. In college, I learned schizophrenia runs on my dad’s side of the family. I’m serious – I’m probably insane. I also scored in the top 5% nationally for the ITBS (standardized tests in elementary school). They say depression comes more naturally to gifted (read: good test-taking) students because they assume bullying and exclusion are part and parcel. Higher IQs are linked to higher instances of psychoses. 

But hey – even a broken clock is right twice a day. I don’t know what that means, but what I mean is, “So what? Most of the philosophers we jack off to in humanities classes were pedophiles, which was a sanctioned relationship back in the day. Homosexuality was something that the religious communities condoned physical torture in order to ‘cure’ just because it was listed as a mental disease in the DSM.”

Have I made poor decisions? Yes. However, I’m lucid. Young, but lucid. Distracted by shiny people, sometimes, but when I’m deluded into thinking there is a homicidal maniac on the loose, hiding among the upstairs, I’m gonna worry. …and just like that, I’m back to talking about my ex. 

I went on a date. Like, an actual date, instead of the ‘blindly flinging myself into a ‘casual relationship’ just to feel desirable’ thing I usually do. Well… a lunch date, about a week ago. Speaking of, I seriously haven’t eaten yet, if my poem didn’t inform you already. I should make a bunch of delicious right now. I have chicken and potatoes and onions. 

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